No Such Luck

Toula Mavridou-Messer


Today friends posted lovely words and images to acknowledge and celebrate their daughter’s 5th birthday. Where my heart should have been singing it instead whimpered and cried with the memory of what being 5 means to me.

Five was when it all went horribly wrong. It was already bad enough but little did I know or could ever comprehend was just how bad it would get, year on year until now, aged 48 when the pain is indescribable.

At 5, I was a child far older than my years.

Far older than my years? What on earth does that actually mean? Well, it meant that when I looked at you, you knew immediately that the eyes you were staring into were conveying a pain that you barely knew existed and that was before it got any worse.

My Mother, my beautiful crazy Mother had been impregnated by a smooth, handsome…

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