backbone since 10/13/15

an unconditional friendship doesn’t come around often , so when it does , hold on to it as tight as you can and don’t let go .

it all started on Oct. 13 of 2015 , when i told him i wanted to be friends with him . my club was doing a spirit week type thing and that day was the day to make a stranger a friend . he agreed , but i think he was a little scared that i might try to kidnap him . ( i was thinking ab it tbh ) so over those next couple of weeks , we got to know each other and we facetimed every chance we got , he has this amazing girlfriend (A) ( and she is so beautiful ) , and we would go on and on about the things we loved and our natural highs (:

he was quiet at first and then there was no way of shutting him up , not that i ever had or ever will have the desire to ! he is so unique to me . and a big part of my world . one of my closest friends . my best friend . we are on and off and back on and off again , mostly on my part . but im thankful that he’s stayed by my side .

and i refuse to lie , i do take him for granted a lot . and i am horrible at staying in touch . and being a great friend to him . sometimes i get so busy that i forget that i have a friend that also needs a friend .

i have never met someone like him . someone so forgiving and compassionate about others . someone who is selfless and true to himself . someone who’s laugh is the only thing you want to hear for the rest of the day . someone who is there when you need them , always there . someone who lights up your world with their smile . someone who is that sunlight on your rainy ass day . that’s what he means to me .

and i don’t know what in the world i would do with out him . he is my backbone .

No Such Luck

Toula Mavridou-Messer


Today friends posted lovely words and images to acknowledge and celebrate their daughter’s 5th birthday. Where my heart should have been singing it instead whimpered and cried with the memory of what being 5 means to me.

Five was when it all went horribly wrong. It was already bad enough but little did I know or could ever comprehend was just how bad it would get, year on year until now, aged 48 when the pain is indescribable.

At 5, I was a child far older than my years.

Far older than my years? What on earth does that actually mean? Well, it meant that when I looked at you, you knew immediately that the eyes you were staring into were conveying a pain that you barely knew existed and that was before it got any worse.

My Mother, my beautiful crazy Mother had been impregnated by a smooth, handsome…

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